Saturday, March 16, 2019

Animal xing - 3.16 #sol19 Story Challenge

Driving conditions around 8:30 on Friday night are ideal, more or less. In the 'more' column go dry roads, light traffic, ample visibility. All of these permit a high rate of travel, near the speed limit of 65, certainly not under. In the 'less' column land the four elk abruptly lit by my high beams. I inhale, short and tight.

"Why did you cross the road?" my mind dumbly wonders wanders as my right foot mashes the brake. Though sudden, the subsequent stop proves controlled and (frantic calculating) not quite short enough -- the tires avoiding screeching or skidding; the implacable animals keeping shuffling. I aim for the probably-bigger-than-car-sized gap between two of them who are still on my side of the road. Rewinding the moment, it feels analogous to bizarre miniature golf: vehicle as colored plastic ball and golden specimens of Cervus canadensis as thick, slow-rotating windmill paddles. My foot still pressing the brake, the seemingly nonplussed elk maintaining their cadence, we roll through the space in their ranks, all of us unscathed this time.

Then, the voice from the passenger seat: "You want me to keep my eyes open for a while?" I exhale, long and loose.

12 comments:

  1. HOLY COW! Is your heart still racing? Those close calls can be terrifying. Hope your passenger was able to keep eyes on the road after that!

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  2. Man! Great driving! My sister hit a deer a few years ago and I know other people who have hit elk and moose. I know you know ( and probably keep imagining) all the things that COULD have happened. I am glad everyone is safe.

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  3. This is gasp-worthy and hilarious all the same time. I love your ending! Wow! Ad I get worried about deer? Elk! Now that's something!

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  4. I held my breath as I read, let out an exhale at the end...great Slice! The comparison to miniature golf gave me a giggle in the reread, since the moment itself was seriously tense.

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  5. Wow! That must have been frightening! You relayed the whole scene so well. I almost felt like I was in slow motion.

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  6. I have to watch for deer, here - nowhere as massive as elk. I cannot even imagine what damage that would do to a vehicle - and then there'd be me horror of having hurt a living thing. Once I saw a mule walking down my street - escaped from a nearby pasture - and I was frantic trying to call someone, anyone for help before it or an unsuspecting car driver got hurt. And - I didn't see that great line coming at the end of this post.

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  7. Wow! I can feel the terror, tightened breath and quick reactions!! Glad this turned out okay - more or less! And hope you were able to relax afterward!

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  8. Geez! Glad everyone got out unscathed, including those four elk. Love the line "the seemingly nunplussed elk maintaining their cadence." Beautiful writing. Love the inhale and exhale. I came upon elk in Banff - thought they were moose. They're so big! Well told, Brian.

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  9. WOW! So glad you are here to write and share your experience. Last night I had a close call in a freak rain storm with almost ) visibility and a guy in a car coming at me... almost hit me if I hadn't moved to the right... We are both here to write...YAY!
    Bonnie

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  10. The breathing punctuates the slow motion of the narrative. Over in a blink but the residuals hang on. glad Elk and Rozinskys are all ok.

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  11. What a well-captured moment. I love this, "Rewinding the moment, it feels analogous to bizarre miniature golf: vehicle as colored plastic ball and golden specimens of Cervus canadensis as thick, slow-rotating windmill paddles. My foot still pressing the brake, the seemingly nonplussed elk maintaining their cadence, we roll through the space in their ranks, all of us unscathed this time." And the ending. Wow. Nicely written.

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  12. This is super strong writing! I love the combo of vivid images and your thoughts as they crossed your mind! You captured the craziness of the majestic animals with the hilarity of the moment perfectly!

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